Headaches
by ladykera
Summary: A/U. Buffy's got a great life, good friends, and a loving boyfriend. She's content but what happend when she finds out that she only has 8 months left to live? *Complete* 6/14/03
1. The headache

AN: Hey there alls! I haven't been at the ol' fanfic in a while but after a semester long hyatus I'm back on it! I hope you like this one. Pu-lease leave me reviews, even flames.  
  
Diclaimer: Duh, I don't own them. I'm a broke college student to the most you would be likely to get out of me is ya sued me would be my beloved computer.  
  
Notes: Thanks to my awesome beta Laney! This can be distributed if you want but please ask my permission first: wvu_kerq@hotmail.com  
  
Chapter 1:  
  
The phone on the counter had been ringing off the hook all day and it was starting to get on Buffy's nerves. This was the umpteenth million time it had rung today and Buffy's headache only increased with each subsequent ring.  
  
"You've reached the Magic Box, Buffy speaking, can I help you?" Buffy's voice sounded flat and dull, reflecting her mood. "Yes, we have that and it can be picked up today if you'd like," she paused, "Yes, we're open until 5pm. Thanks, buh-bye." She dropped the phone on its receiver with a sigh. "I'm so tired today, I dunno what's up!"  
  
"Maybe, you're coming down with something. It could even be Spike. See last time Xander and I went on an all night orgasm-fest I didn't feel so great the next day," Anya stated gleefully. Buffy rolled her eyes and her coworker and wife of her best friend, Xander Harris. "Or it could just be a head cold, I get those, too."  
  
"You little demon! I'm guessing it's not Spike," she smiled at the thought of her long-term boyfriend, William "Spike" Rosenburgh. He was the brother of her other best friend, Willow. "Although, we've had some really good nights in the last week."  
  
"Ha, I know that look! You're in love with him!"  
  
"Well… uhm… ya know…" she hedged, "yes! I am, totally head over for him. God, I wish he would just propose already!" It was a long-standing joke that Buffy and Spike had hated each other for 13 years, then found each other undeniably attractive. However, Spike had never shown any intention of marrying Buffy, only being some type of long-term boyfriend. "Anyway, on topics that don't aggravate my headache, I'm gonna go hunt down Giles and ask if I can leave early." She started to head to the storerooms. "Oh! There's gonna be a guy coming later to pick up a Theban Orb, he wants to turn himself into a slug, I think." She and Anya giggled over their customer base. "See you tomorrow!"  
  
"Giles!" She walked briskly back to the office in the storeroom, "Giles, I need the rest of the day off, I feel icky!" She poked her head into the office to see her boss and step-father typing away at his computers,  
  
"Are there a lot of customers up there?"  
  
"No! The phones been ringing off the hook but it's nothing Anya can't handle." She pouted, trying to look extra pitiful.  
  
"Fine, but make very sure Anya has everything under control before you go home. I don't think your mother's working today so she should be available for bedside nursing." He smiled fondly.  
  
"Thanks a ton, bye!" She scampered out of the office with more energy than she really felt. "Anya, I'm outta here!" Buffy grabbed her purse while heading out the door. "Don't offend any customers while I'm gone!" Anya smiled and waved as she waltzed out the door.  
  
Buffy caught the bus back to her house in only five minutes which pleased her to no end; it meant less time standing around with a headache and no Tylenol. While waiting for the bus to get to her stop she thought about her relationship with Spike. He made her smile, laugh, and orgasm. Of course there was more to the relationship, but those were the important parts. Her mom and Giles liked him, he was a brother of her best friend which made him almost part of the family already. Xander didn't like him too much, but he tolerated him well enough. Buffy smiled to herself. She really was in love with Spike, she just wondered if the feeling was mutual. Sure he said he loved her… but he wasn't so big with the shiny rocks and "will you marry me?"  
  
When the bus dropped Buffy off a block from her house her head was pounding as she walked quickly to her front door.  
  
"Mom? Are you there?" She headed up to her bedroom, dropping her keys, bag, and jacket on the stairs. "Mom! I need you!" She headed to the bathroom for Tylenol before going to her room.  
  
"I'm here Buffy, what's the matter?"  
  
"Headache. Much pain. Going to bed. Can you make me some soup when I wake up?" She pouted like she had for Giles.  
  
"Sure, sweety. Just call for me when you wake up." Joyce kissed the top of Buffy's sun streaked hair and left her to take a nap. 


	2. Sick in bed

Chapter 2:  
  
"Buffy, phone!" Joyce's call pierced through Buffy's dreams of calorie free chocolate. Buffy groaned. She wanted more dreams of guilt free snack foods. "It's Spike!" At that Buffy jolted out of bed and raced to the phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey, luv. Heard you weren't feeling well, wanted to make sure my favorite midnight, or midday, snack was still alive and kicking." She grinned at his reference to their having sex at almost any time of day or night. "So 'ow you feelin' now, ducks?"  
  
"Better, still headache, but not so bad now."  
  
"Good to hear. Want to go out tomorrow night?"  
  
"Well, tomorrow would be Friday, date night, so yes."  
  
"I'll pick you up at 7 then. And wear something nice, one of those frilly, girly numbers you love so much."  
  
"Yes, sir, drill sergeant! Anyway, it's dinnertime. I'll see you tomorrow! Buh-bye, love you."  
  
"Love you, too." She hung up and went downstairs.  
  
"Hey, Mom. Ooh, chicken with stars!" She sat down at the kitchen island and dug in. After she finished her first bowl the phone rang.  
  
"Hey Buff!" It was Willow's chipper voice.  
  
"Hey Wills, what's up?" She poured another bowl of soup as she chatted.  
  
"Not much, I heard about you being sick."  
  
"Does everyone know the status of my vitals at all time around here?" She giggled and slurped in more soup.  
  
"No, Anya told Xander who told me. Big family we got going on here. Oh, and speaking of family, my darling brother is taking you out tomorrow night?"  
  
"Yup, I'm to wear something 'pretty and frilly'. I hope he's not taking me out to see another monster truck rally!"  
  
"Yeah, that was so unlike him, I don't really know what got into him that day!"  
  
"He was 15, what do you expect? Anyway, he's older and wiser now. I think he's going to take me to a nice dinner tomorrow."  
  
"Uh huh!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing. I just hope you have a good time!" Willow giggled.  
  
"Okay, Wills, no more happy pills for you," Buffy though her friend a little odd. "Anyway, I'm gonna go back to bed, I still have to work for Giles tomorrow and I want to feel my best. Have a good night. Tell Tara I said 'hello.' If you see Spike, give him a hug for me!"  
  
"Okay, will do." She hung up the phone and went back to bed hoping no one else would call. 


	3. Will you?

Chapter 3:  
  
"So, that guy actually bought the Orb so that he could become a slug? That's so gross!" Buffy and Anya were enjoying some coffee and down time in the last half hour at the shop. Buffy was on her third dose of Tylenol for the day but was feeling okay so long the meds didn't wear off. "We get some really crazies in here!"  
  
"Yes, but crazies with money!"  
  
"True, crazies with money." She sighed and hoped the last half hour would go quickly, she still had to pick out an outfit for tonight and shower and paint her nails and shave and…  
  
"You should go ahead and leave, there's nothing I can't handle in the last half hour."  
  
"Thanks a ton, An! You're a doll!"  
  
"I know!" Buffy all but ran out to door for the bus stop.  
  
"Mom, if he gets here in the next five minutes stall him! I'm not ready yet!" She was trying to shove her heels on and not fall over. Finally, she stood in front of her mirror and looked over her reflection. Shoulder length blonde ringlets were pinned half back off of a flawless face. A silk and lace pink dress flowed down luscious curves and ended at her knees. She smiled at herself, devoutly hoping that whatever Spike had planned was worth it.  
  
"Buffy, he's here!" She grabbed her purse and house keys and headed down the stairs.  
  
"Spike!" Buffy was shocked. He was dressed in a silvery grey suited that set off his peroxide hair and blue eyes nicely. "Wow, you look great."  
  
"So, do you, luv! Good enough to eat," he leaned in and nibbled her neck, down to her shoulder.  
  
"Ahem," Joyce and Giles glared, "Have a good time, see you later tonight!"  
  
"Uhm, yeah, sorry. I'll be back later." Buffy smiled and they walked out the door.  
  
"So the guy wanted to become a slug? That's disgusting!" Spike sipped his wine and grimace at the idea of becoming a slug. Even though Spike and Buffy saw each other almost every day, they still related their daily horrors of work. "So, how's your fish taste, luv?"  
  
"Good, how's your steak? I think it's rare enough that it's still mooing!" She smiled. Her head still ached a little, but she'd get over it.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, luv 'eard it all before! Oops," he dove for a fork which had slipped out of his grasp.  
  
"Clumsy much?"  
  
"Do you mind?" He came up from the floor kneeling beside her, "I know I'm clumsy, but you love me. Right?"  
  
"Of course I do, you know that!" She kissed his cheek as she felt something slide onto her finger.  
  
"Good to hear. Now I know I didn't buy this for nothing!" He was grinning like a moron, knowing how happy Buffy had to be.  
  
"Oh my god! Oh, my god!" She stared at the ring totally unaware of the scene she was causing.  
  
"So, yes or no?"  
  
"Yes, of course yes!" She kissed him soundly. "Oh man, everyone's going to flip when I tell them!"  
  
"Actually, they already know. I made sure Joyce wasn't gonna kill me when you told her. She's fine with it and very happy we're finally going to settle down together."  
  
"Hmm settle down? Right now I feel like I could go all night." She gave him a lusty smile.  
  
"Check, please!" 


	4. One week later

Chapter 4: One week later  
  
"Buffy, these headaches have been going on for a week now, I want you to see a doctor. Giles and I both want you to see a doctor."  
  
"Okay, fine, whatever. But I'm really fine, I promise. You're just being over sensitive because you know I'm going to be moving out soon. You feel like you have to get in any last minute mothering before I leave."  
  
"You aren't getting married for another 8 months and you aren't moving out until then, so I still have you for a little while yet! We're going now so get your stuff." They drove in almost total silence to the doctor's office. It only took a few minutes before the nurse called Buffy's name.  
  
"Miss Summers, we're going to take a little blood before the doctor sees you, so if you would follow me, please?" Buffy glared at her mom but followed the nurse anyway. After the blood work she was lead to a small examination room in which the doctor was already in.  
  
"Good morning, Miss Summers, go ahead and have a seat and we'll see what we can do for you." After only a few questions and a few pokes and prods the doctor didn't have much he could tell her. "So how long has this been going on?"  
  
"About a week, no more than 9 days."  
  
"Hmm and has it been getting worse as time goes on?"  
  
"Yes, but it's really nothing serious. I'm fine right?"  
  
"No, I don't think so. I'd like to do some MRIs and a CT scan. I'm going to go get your mother now and then we can see what we can find."  
  
Buffy sat nervously twiddling with her ring. Joyce just sat almost immobile, fearing the worse and hoping for the best. As time wore on Buffy became more and more agitated, finally getting up and walking to an empty hallway to call Spike.  
  
"Hey, Spike. How're you?" Buffy said in a rush as soon as he picked up.  
  
"Hey, luv. I'm good, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing, why would anything be wrong?"  
  
"You sound like you've got your knickers in a knot. What's up?"  
  
"Miss Summers? The doctor would like to see you now." A young nurse called her over.  
  
"Hey, I gotta go, but I'll call you later, okay?"  
  
"Yeah, sure luv. Talk to you then." Buffy followed the nurse with Joyce and sat down in the doctor's plush office. 'Nice place,' Buffy thought to herself. 'I hope I can get an office this nice one day.'  
  
"Miss Summers, how much do you know about cancer?"  
  
"Um, not much." Wild thoughts began forming in Buffy's head as she heard Joyce gasp.  
  
"Well, there are several types of cancer, some of it is easily controlled and some times it isn't." He looked down at his notes. 'This is never easy' he thought, "I'm afraid that the cause of your headaches are stems from a tumor in your brain. Currently, it is no larger than a pea, but it could get bigger." He sighed heavily, "Unfortunately it is in a place where we cannot operate on it without killing you. I'm very, very sorry to have to tell you this."  
  
Buffy felt numb. She had no feeling what so ever. Tumor? No, she was young, healthy. She couldn't have cancer. Joyce slipped her hand into Buffy's and squeezed. Buffy looked at her, still in shock.  
  
"What can be done?" Joyce asked slowly, as if afraid of the answer.  
  
"Nothing for now, I'm sad to say. It cannot be operated on but chemotherapy is an option later. Even at that, I don't know if it would do any good." He took on his glasses and whipped them on his shirt. This was the hard part. "I'm afraid that after approximately 8 months the tumor will be the size of a golf ball, at which point it will kill you.  
  
"I'm going to die in 8 months?" 


	5. The end or the begining?

Chapter 5:  
  
Dim light from a curtain covered window barely illuminated Buffy's room. The sound of sobs could be heard through the door as Joyce stood listening to her only daughter deal with the end of her life. Joyce's mind sifted through the events in Buffy's life: birthday's, vacations, school trips Joyce had chaperoned, her second marriage to Giles where Buffy had been her maid of honor, Buffy's friends sleeping over almost every Friday, Buffy and Spike starting to date, Buffy's graduation from high school, and most recently Buffy announcing her engagement to Spike. It was a cruel twist of fate that an event that should herald the beginning of her new life may now not happen because of her death. Tears sprang to Joyce's eyes as she heard Buffy's sobs turn hysterical. Slamming the door open she ran to Buffy's side urging her to sit up and take deep breaths.  
  
"I… *sob* I... *sob* I can't!" Buffy's hysterical sobs were edging dangerously close to hyperventilating.  
  
"Come on Buff, deep breaths, just try!" Joyce forcefully held her daughter upright so that she could get air. "Deep breath in, deep breath out, you can do it."  
  
"Why?" Buffy sobbed again, harder, "Why don't I just die now? It would keep me from just wasting away!" She took a deep breath but it went down the wrong way and she began to choke. Joyce gave her a hard thumb on her back which seemed to ease the sobs and Buffy lay quietly on her bed. Her hair was damp and hung limply around her face, her complexion was red from crying, and her eyes had a haunter looked. Joyce's heart broke as she got a sudden flash of the future to come.  
  
"Because, you can't give up. I've never know you to give up. Plus, what would Spike do with out you?" Buffy's sobs began anew at the though of leaving her love behind. "I'm calling a family meeting tonight. We have to let everyone know."  
  
"Why, Giles knows already?"  
  
"I mean the whole family."  
  
That night the Summers' living room was packed with people. Buffy sat on Spike's lap, head on his cheek and observed as her "family" arrived. Spike had come with Willow, Xander and Anya soon after. Tara was the last to arrive because she had missed the first bus from the apartment she and Willow shared. Joyce and Giles had made everyone dinner and the smell of it lingered in the air. Buffy cleared her throat, trying to find the courage to tell the man she loved and her best friends that she would be leaving them.  
  
"Well, I guess you guys wonder why I wanted to all over. Other than to eat my mom's very yummy cooking!" She gave a half grin. "I guess most of you know that I've been having headaches for the last week and today I went to see what was wrong.  
  
"I have a tumor in my brain," tears formed as her family gasped at this news, "and I'm probably not going to live more than another 8 months."  
  
A chorus of "no!" and "what?" followed her statement. Buffy resumed her weeping, leaning into Spike who was also crying. As her family shot a barrage of questions at her, Joyce, and Giles, Buffy's tears took on a hysterical edge again.  
  
"Spike, take her upstairs and calm her down, we'll deal with the problems down here," Joyce pointed to the stairs. Spike scooped her up and ran up the stairs to Buffy's bedroom. Once inside he lay down on her bed with her, holding her until she calmed down. When her tears had stopped she lay still in his arms.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Spike. If you don't want to get married now I totally understand. I wouldn't want to marry me if I were you!"  
  
"Buffy! Listen to me," He held her tightly to his chest, her hands wound around his back more tightly, "I don't know what to tell you, I don't know how to feel other than disbelief, but I still love you! I still want you to be mine, even if that may not be very long."  
  
"But, why? Why bother? It would be a waste; I'm going to die Spike!"  
  
"Yes, we all die, ducks, some of us sooner than others. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't celebrate the life we have. I still love you. I will always love you." He sat up and took her ring, then kneeled by the bedside. "Baby, you make me the 'appiest bloke on the planet and even though it may not be for even a week, but will you be my wife?" He held the ring out to her and smiled at her.  
  
"Yes." She sat up and put her hand out for him to slip the ring back on. "But I think we should move the wedding up!" He slipped the ring on and kissed her. He leaned into the kiss as she opened her mouth. Their tongues danced and caressed each other as their hands began to do the same. "Mmm, Spike..." she pointed at the open door, "what about-"  
  
"Don't worry about it, luv, if I know our gang no one's going to disturb us for a while." He grinned at her and bent into their kiss again. The kissed picked up speed as they began to move against each other. Spike tugged gently at Buffy's shirt, lifting it over head then. He pushed her back against the bed and kissed lightly along the tops of her breasts, his hands caressed her sides then undid the clasp of her bra. Buffy sat up long enough to remove Spike's shirt and unzip his shorts. He moaned as her hand brushed against his erection.  
  
Downstairs Joyce explained the complications of Buffy's tumor and how it was killing her slowly. The gang had many questions some of which Joyce couldn't answer but she tried hard. The question and answer session went on until a very audible moan could be heard. Each person smirked at their mate.  
  
"Well," Giles said, clearing his throat, "I believe now would be a good time to end our discussion." He stood up and motioned for everyone to gather their things to go home. "Everyone please try to be normal around Buffy, she will appreciate it more than sympathy and pity." 


	6. Wedding planning

Chapter 6: one month later  
  
While Buffy's headaches weren't bothering her nearly as much as they had the first week, she still had to get monthly scans to check the progress of the tumor. Today had been one of those days and it depressed Buffy to see that the tumor had grown just a tiny bit larger. Watching the tumor grow was like watching her life shrink.  
  
"But," Buffy said happily to herself, "at least it's Friday and I get to go do something fun afterwards!" She practically skipped down the sidewalk to Sunnydale's best dress boutique. Buffy had decided to have her dress handmade instead of just buying one off or a rack somewhere. "It makes it more personal that it's being made specifically for me!" Buffy had told Joyce when she found resistance to her idea. Of course all Buffy really had to do was give Joyce or Giles the 'I'm a sad dying Buffy look' and she got whatever she wanted for the wedding. "Yes, they'll remember me after I die; they'll still be paying my bills!" Buffy thought with a rare bit of morbid humor.  
  
At the dress shop she, Willow, Tara, Anya, and Joyce spent an hour searching through bridal magazines and catalogs for a perfect design for Buffy's dress. After an hour and a half they had narrowed it down to three dresses: a multi layer, floor length chiffon dress, an empire waisted taffeta gown, and a rather plain white slip type dress. Everyone had their opinion on which would look best but Buffy put her foot down, pouted, and decided that she wanted the floor length chiffon dress. "It accentuates my curves best!" The rest of the girls left for jobs or homes as Joyce and Buffy began earnest discussion with the seamstress about fit, size, and price. At the end of the afternoon the price was set and the dress was to be ready in two weeks, just in time for the wedding.  
  
"Mom, do you really think we can pull this off with only a week left?"  
  
"Yes. It'll be a stretch, but as long as we can get the photographer we'll be okay." Joyce said as they made their way back to Revello drive. Giles and Spike had dinner on the table by the time they walked in. "Mmm, smells heavenly!" Joyce exclaimed and kissed Giles' cheek.  
  
"Eww, parents! It does smell good though! Who cooked?" She gave Spike a quick hug.  
  
"It was a group effort, luv."  
  
"Ahh, good, then it will be edible!" Buffy smirked at him as he made rude noises about her jibe. Group dinners had become routine and Buffy enjoyed it every time. Since Buffy had found out about the tumor Spike had basically come to live in the Summers-Giles' house. Spike spent every night with his fiancé and over the last month had gradually moved more and more of his things from the apartment he shared with Willow and Tara to Buffy's bedroom. While Joyce and Giles didn't exactly approve they didn't stop him either. Both figured that it was worth it to them to see Buffy happy in her last months. As usual after dinner the four moved the living room to play a board game. Time together as a family had taken on a new dimension of important. They ignored the TV and played a different game every night of the week. After bankrupting everyone in a thee hour Monopoly game Buffy declared that she was tired and hauled Spike upstairs for her favorite part of the night, their time.  
  
"So how is the wedding plannin' going, luv?" Spike asked as he changed from street clothes to flannel pajamas.  
  
"Good! I got my dress all sorted out and it'll be ready just in time. I'll be a pretty, winsome Buffy for our wedding!"  
  
"Winsome? Good word luv!"  
  
"I like it! We also got a caterer and florist but we're still working on a band and a photographer."  
  
"Hmm, I know a few good blokes who might be able to do the band. I think the chap calls his band 'Dingo's Ate My Baby" or something like that," he slid into bed.  
  
"Weird name!"  
  
"Yeah, good music though," he kissed her on her forehead as she slid into bed. "I'm glad everything's coming together, pet."  
  
"Yup, I'm Buffy the Fantastic wedding planner!" She giggled and kissed him. He started stroking her in various places and soon her giggles turned to moans of pleasure.  
  
"Hey, luv, I brought you some coffee." Spike said the next morning when he woke her up so that she could continue her search for a photographer and audition the band.  
  
"Mmm, coffee, essence of life!" She took one sniff though and started to gag. "Move!" She yelled as she pushed past him to get to the bathroom.  
  
"Luv? You okay?" He heard retching noises coming from the bathroom, "Hold on pet, I'm coming!" He grabbed her hair at the nape of her neck and held it back. "Deep breath, it'll pass."  
  
"God, what was in that coffee?" Buffy walked to the sink and rinsed her mouth with mouthwash. Spike sniffed his cup and shrugged.  
  
"Nothing unusual, you okay?" He put a hand to her forehead, "nope, not hot. Tummy bug?"  
  
"I guess," she cautiously sniffed her coffee then took a quick sip. "That was odd. I've never gotten… sick… uhm…" Buffy paused.  
  
"You what, luv?"  
  
"Shit!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"No. I can't. No! We're so careful, I can't"  
  
"Can't what, luv? What are you rambling… Oh!" It hit him like a ton of bricks. He reached across to her and put a hand to her abdomen. "Do you remember the night you told everyone? We didn't then. I bet it was then, luv."  
  
"I can't be pregnant! I'm checking right now." Buffy grabbed some clothes and ran out the door. Spike sat down on the bed. 'The woman I love may be carrying my child!' He though jubilantly. 'I might be a Daddy!' Then it hit him, why Buffy had panicked, she may not live long enough to deliver the child. Spike felt paralyzed with fear that not only could be a husband and father, but that his beloved may not live long enough for either dream to be fully realized.  
  
Spike heard Buffy come back in and run to the bathroom twenty minutes later. He walked to the closed door and knocked after he didn't heard anymore sounds. "Buffy? You okay?" He knocked on the door. "Luv, did you do the test?"  
  
"Yes," Spike held his breath, "Spike… I'm pregnant!" 


	7. The hardest decision

A/N: Thanks again to my awesome beta Laney and sorry its taking so long for this fic to get finished but I'm going the summer school thing and work. Thanks for all the reviews I love them and live for them! Okay, now here's the real disclaimer: I really hated writing this chapter because of the emotions and politics associated with it. It was really hard for me to write so if you disagree with how I handle it, I'm sorry, but it's creative license…  
  
Chapter 7:  
  
To say that Joyce and Giles were shocked was an understatement. They were also ecstatic though that the couple was making progress towards becoming a family. As soon as she found out Joyce made Buffy and appointment at the OB/GYN to be sure the both the baby and Buffy were healthy, relatively speaking. Buffy really liked Dr. Wood. He was a tall black man with a good sense of humor but a serious demeanor that seemed to be at odds with his sense of humor. Never the less his personality reassured Buffy especially after they she explained to him about the tumors.  
  
"Well, there's good news and there's bad news. Which do you want first?" Dr. Wood asked Buffy after examining her.  
  
"I guess the bad news." It can't be any worse than what else I've heard in the last month, she thought.  
  
"Okay, the bad news. You cannot undergo chemotherapy. Due to the inherent nature of chemotherapy you'd run the risk of harming your baby. You also cannot undergo radiation therapy for the same reasons."  
  
"So, I now have a tumor and a baby and I can't kill the tumor or I may kill the baby?" Buffy slumped in her seat.  
  
"I'm afraid that's where it stands. So I will give you a few things to think about for the coming months." He glanced at her notes than back at her, "Would you like your mother back in here before I start?"  
  
"Yes, please." Joyce was brought back in and they sat and listened to what Dr. Wood told her about diet and exercise and things to avoid. "That doesn't sound so bad, although I think I dread Lamaze!" Buffy smiled at the thought of Spike going through Lamaze class.  
  
"Now for the harder things we need to discuss. Given the state of your tumor and the length of time you've been given there is a great chance that you may not live long enough to carry your baby to term." Dr. Wood paused, he hated having to talk to the young woman like this, she as so young, so pretty and so full of life, "there are options you can consider and this is what I wanted your mother in for. The likelihood of you carrying the baby to term is about ten percent," Buffy gasped at that, "but it is possible to do an emergency c-section if it looks like you aren't going live but the baby if close to term." Tears began to form in Buffy's eyes and she felt Joyce squeeze her hand. "Another option that you may want to consider is an abortion." He drew a deep breath, "if you have an abortion now, then you may still have a chance to go through radiation or chemotherapy and could live, but you would possibly be sterile by the end of the therapy." He took another deep breath, "So, I would like you to go home, discuss this with the rest of your family and decide what you would like to do." He stood up as Buffy did, "Thank you Miss Summers," he gave her a brief hug, "just remember, everything has a way working out." He smiled then sat down wearily as she walked out.  
  
Dinner that night was very somber. No one wanted to talk after the fight that had raged before. Everyone had had their own opinion about what Buffy should do and the discussion had gotten louder and louder until finally Buffy burst into tears and had to be calmed down. After dinner the usual board game was preempted for a quieter discussion about what to do about Buffy's baby.  
  
"Buffy, we know you feel that you should keep the baby, but there's nothing that can be done for you if you do. The tumor will grow unchecked and it will kill you." Giles told her quietly but firmly. She glared at him and hugged her abdomen.  
  
"Sweetie, I'm behind you what ever you do, but please realize that if you do carry the baby and it has to be delivered prematurely it could be retarded or crippled or could die anyway. I don't know if I could deal with that double loss." Joyce was quiet too but she didn't seem to have Giles' conviction. Buffy leaned into Spike for comfort. She looked up at him, trying to tell from his expression what he was thinking. It was really cruel the way fate played out, she and Spike should be so happy right now, but instead they were scared for two lives. At least, she thought, it's Spike, not Angel!  
  
She mused over the one month that she and Spike had ever been apart. Back in high school they had had a horrible fight and broke up, each claiming that they would never speak to the other again. Spike had gone off and dated Drusilla right away which had aroused her suspicions about the tart. As revenge she started dating Angel. He had been nice enough at first but after two weeks he had declared his undying love for her. That had scared her but Spike was still with Drusilla so she decided to stick it out for a while longer. They seemed to get along well enough but when Spike finally relented and went back to Buffy Angel blew a fuse. He claimed that she was a tramp and had only been using him, a claim she couldn't deny. The brat had gotten so over emotional about it that he had his father transfer him to another school entirely to "escape the humiliation" Buffy had caused him. Buffy stifled a giggle over how absurd he he'd looked while yelling about his humiliation.  
  
"Buffy, hullo, earth to Buffy!"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Off in lala land, eh luv?" Spike nibbled her ear.  
  
"Yeah, thinking about the good ol' days."  
  
"Now that you're back with us, can we keep talking?" Giles sounded peeved and a peeved Giles was mean Giles.   
  
"I'm listening, you can-"she paused, "you know what?" She gathered all her courage, "You can shut up!" She stood up, trying not to shake. "I'm tired of listening to you tell me what I should do with my body, with my baby!" She looked at her mother and Giles' stunned expressions. "I will make my own choice and I will make the right choice, but it's not something you can force on me." She grabbed Spike's hand and pulled him up stairs, "We're going to bed, good night." She turned and fled up the stairs before Joyce or Giles could recover and begin to reprimand her again.  
  
"Way to go, Buff! I thought we may be trapped down there forever!"  
  
"I know. Do you think I'm right? Wanting to keep the baby? Is it cruel of me to expect you to take care of it if I die?" She looked deep into his eyes, trying to see through to his thoughts.  
  
"No. It's unfair of you, but then life is unfair. I'm not upset by it though. Having the baby will give me something of you to remember. Someone to hold and love." He kissed her forehead and pulled her into bed. "It will work out."  
  
"Yes, I suppose it will." She kissed him and made a gesture of a toast, "to fate! To hope!"  
  
"To hope!" 


	8. The Wedding

A/N: The song I use in this chap is Bring Me to Life by Evanescence.  
  
Chapter 8: Two weeks later, the wedding day  
  
Buffy's heart was pounding more than her head was as she fussed with her dress again. At the last minute they had decided to dye it a very pale pink.  
  
"It's improper for a non-virgin to wear white and you dear are pregnant!" Joyce had stated and Buffy was inclined to agree. Besides, she really likes the color. White made her look so washed out.  
  
She tweaked back a strand of hair that had fallen and grimaced at her reflection in the mirror.  
  
"You're face is going to freeze if you do that too much!" A vaguely familiar voice called out to her. The flap of the little tent she was using as her dressing room opened.  
  
"Angel! What in the hell are you doing here?" Oh gods! He's not trying to win me back at the last moment or something is he? She held back a groan.  
  
"Nice to see you too," he smiled though and gave her a peck on the cheek. "I just wanted to be here to see you and the blonde wonder." His smile was genuine so Buffy gave him a quick hug.  
  
"Thank you, Angel. I know you don't like him, but I appreciate that you're here. You'd better hurry if you want a good seat; Mom's pretty much invited all of Sunnydale!" She gave him one more quick hug then went back to fixing her impeccable hair. Willow, Tara, and Anya walked in just as Angel walked out.  
  
"What did her want?" Willow asked as she fussed with her bride's maid dress.  
  
"Just told me he was happy for me, go figure!" They giggled and went back to making sure everything they wore looked perfect.  
  
"So, are you okay with your Dad not coming?" Tara asked.  
  
"I guess, I haven't seen him in ten years so I'm not really that shocked that he didn't want to come." When Tara looked shocked she smiled at her, "Don't worry, I'm okay!" Buffy started looking around her, "has anyone seen my Tylenol? My head's pounding again!"  
  
After a few minutes of frantic searching no one could find it so Willow went for her bag. "Here, try one of these. Tara and I make them and they seem to do wonders for my head." Willow handed her what looked like weeds wrapped up in a leaf.  
  
"More witch meds?" Buffy said and winked at her friend.  
  
"It's Wicca and yes." Willow and Tara were both practicing Wiccans and both were very good at it; they even had their own Wicca group in town.  
  
"Thanks girl!" Buffy munched on the roots, "mmm, tastes like liquorish!" Joyce came in then to tell them that it was time. "Well here we go!" They walked out of the tent to the bright sunshine of Sunnydale Park. Buffy had chosen to have an outdoor, afternoon wedding and the weather couldn't have been more perfect. It was like fate had decided that today was the day for them and had held back clouds just for her and Spike. Willow, Tara, and Anya lined up ahead of Buffy and Giles, who would be giving her away in place of her real father.  
  
The music sounded and everyone started the walk down the aisle. As Buffy and Giles got closer to the arch of roses Spike and the minister stood by she couldn't help but smile at him. He looked so handsome! His blonde hair shimmered like sun in the afternoon light and he looked damn sexy in his tux! Buffy grabbed his hand when she got to him and they turned to the minister. He said the open words then asked if anyone knew of any reason why they shouldn't be married. Buffy held her breath hoping Angel would keep buttoned up but after 20 seconds of silence she knew he had been sincere in his well wishing.  
  
"I have been told that the couple has a song that they would like played as part of the ceremony" the minister said and the Dingo's, whom Buffy now totally adored, began to play.  
  
//How can you see into my mind, like open doors? Leading you down into my core, where I've been so numb//  
  
//With out a soul, my spirit sleeping some where cold until you find it there and lead it back home//  
  
//Wake me up inside, wake me up inside, call my name and save me from the dark.//  
  
//Bid my blood to run before I come undone, save me from the nothing I've become//  
  
//Now that I know what I'm without, you can't just leave me. Breathe into me and make me real. Bring me to life//  
  
//Wake me up inside, wake me up inside, call my name and save me from the dark.//  
  
//Bid my blood to run before I come undone, save me from the nothing I've become, bring me to life//  
  
//frozen in time without you tough, without your love. Only you are the life among the dead.//  
  
At the end everyone clapped and some ever cried knowing that Spike really was Buffy's anchor to life at the moment. She lived for him. The minister moved on to the vows. Buffy and Spike took out their rings and grinned like errant children, they were almost married.  
  
"Buffy, do you promise to take this man, in sickness and in healthy, through any trouble you encounter, for as long as you both shall live?"  
  
"I do."  
  
"William, do you promise to take this man, in sickness and in healthy, through any trouble you encounter, for as long as you both shall live?"  
  
"With all my heart and soul I do."  
  
"You may now exchange rings." They fumbled and laughed as each tried to put their ring on the other.  
  
"I now pronounce you man and wife! You may-" but Buffy and Spike were already lip locked. The crowd cheered and they ran down the aisle together.  
  
The reception was the best party anyone had been to in a long time. The food was fantastic and the Dingo's rocked. Buffy and Spike danced, then Buffy and Giles danced. Buffy and Spike decided to leave at only 10. When Joyce asked why, with a malicious grin on her face, Buffy responded with a hearty "because I want to sleep with husband!" They scampered off but didn't even make it home before they were half dressed and pawing each other. Willow and Tara stayed until the last song was played bother drooling over the bass player, Oz. Willow and Tara had an odd relationship. They loved each other very much, but it was well known that occasionally a third person would make their couple into a triplet. By mutual agreement Willow and Tara had decided that Oz would be another good candidate for a 'mutual boyfriend' as they called it. When the Dingo's finished playing and were packing up Willow and Tara proposed the idea to him and, like any young man would do, he took them up on it. Xander and Anya didn't even make it to ten, by seven they had snuck off to quiet corner of the park and decided to replay their wedding night. Even Joyce and Giles seemed to be affected by the wedding night. They had decided to let Buffy and Spike have the house to themselves their first night and had a hotel room. Joyce surprised Giles by jumping him the second they made it into the room. 


	9. Where is my mind?

Chapter 9: four months later  
  
After the wedding life had returned to normal, or as normal as it could be. Buffy continued to work at the Magic Box with Willow, Tara, Anya, and Giles. Life had been pretty good for the first two months after the wedding but gradually Buffy had started forgetting things and having lapses in memory. The doctors told her that there was nothing that they could do for her then but if she survived her pregnancy they could begin chemo. Buffy relied on Willow and Tara's knowledge of herbs and herbal remedies more and more as she could no longer take normal painkillers without causing her baby harm. They were more than happy to oblige and with the continuous use of their skills they ever thought about opening a little herbal shop inside the Magic Box. They even giggled and confessed to her how well Oz was working out as a shared boyfriend, he really like both of them and really like having sex with two girls and not getting bitched at!  
  
Buffy loved to hear them talk about it. It reminded her that even if she died, life would continue with out her. Her friends would undoubtedly be devastated by the loss of their Buffy, but they would live. She worried for Spike though. He would have everyone to fall back on, but to him the loss of her would be the greatest. Please, please, just let me have the baby, Buffy thought to herself daily. If Spike had the baby to take care of she knew he would make it out of the depression her death would cause.  
  
Buffy's thoughts returned to the Magic Box as she heard the door chime. She looked at her watch and realized that she had spaced out for fifteen minutes. Everyone had been nice enough to not point out how her thoughts would wander during the day and that she had problems concentrating. It was nice of them but it annoyed Buffy to no end.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Yes, can I help you?" Buffy smiled and tried to cover that fact that she hadn't even realized his presence, even though she had heard the door chime.  
  
"Yes, I need a Theban Orb please." Anya and Tara giggled and Buffy gave her an inquiring look.  
  
"Buffy, slugs!" Buffy gave her a blank look then remembered that the last person who had asked for a Theban Orb had turned himself into a slug. This guy didn't look like he'd be too upset if he was changed into a slug.  
  
"Yeah, we have one of those let me go get it for you!" She smirked at Anya as she walked back to get it. She had to be careful how she walked as she was definitely getting larger. Her belly was not huge but it was definitely there. Everyone time she had gone to see Dr. Wood he told her that the pregnancy was going extremely well "all things considered".  
  
She got back to the storeroom and had to pause to think what she was there for. "Anya?" she called back.  
  
"What?"  
  
"What am I back here for again?"  
  
"Theban Orb!"  
  
"Thanks!" She grabbed the orb and stomped back up to the front, furious that she couldn't remember a stupid orb. "Here you go and just remember, if you turn yourself into a slug we don't offer refunds." She smiled at the baffled man then went into a fit of giggles with Anya and Tara.  
  
That night Buffy had to stop trying to help Joyce make dinner because she kept forgetting what she had put in the sauce. So she and Spike just sat on the couch and watched TV. After ten minutes of channel surfing Spike realized that Buffy was crying and tried to comfort her.  
  
"Buffy its okay, luv!"  
  
"It's not, I hate this! I can't remember what I've done and what I haven't!" Her voice was so distraught that Spike began to cry too. It broke his heart to know how hard this was for Buffy and that it would probably only get worse. He stroked her hair and held her until they stopped crying. After dinner they skipped board games and decided to have a night to themselves. The next morning Spike went to see Tara and his sister.  
  
"Willow please do this for me. Tara, talk some sense into her! I know you can do this. Please, do it for me? For her?" He pleaded with them. Oz merely looked on in awe of his girlfriends'.  
  
"Spike I don't know if we can! There are spells we could do but I'd be so afraid of hurting her!" Willow leaned into Oz's shoulder.  
  
"We can look through our books and see though." Tara glanced at Willow. "There may be something we can do, but no promises okay?"  
  
"Okay, but please, it's getting worse. It just breaks my heart to see her struggling to remember a word or what she's done."  
  
"We know, we'll try." Willow kissed his cheek then leaned back against Oz.  
  
"Thanks sis! Thanks Tara!" He gave Oz a quick look, "So, is it as good as I dream?"  
  
"Better," Oz purred and hugged his girlfriends.  
  
"Okay, have a good afternoon all!"  
  
That afternoon the Willow, Tara, and Oz looked for spells to get rid of Buffy's tumor or anything that would help. At the end of the day they had found a mental clarity spell but would have to order some roots from England so it would be a little while before it could be used. They decided to look in the Sunnydale Library for more spells the next day. 


	10. To fate, to hope!

Chapter 10: three months later  
  
Buffy was no longer allowed to work in the Magic Shop. She could no longer remember what she was looking for or doing for more than about a minute and it frustrated her too much to keep trying. She now spent her days either just sitting in the Magic Shop with her friends or at home watching TV. Her mind was slipping more each day. She could remember her name and who she was, she remembered names and faces of those closest to her but recently she started forgetting the names of her neighbors. Buffy didn't mind being at home because at least at him she didn't have to face Spike during the day. It hurt her so badly to see him just looking at her like her did. She knew he pitied her and she hated hit. He's no supposed to feel pity, it's not supposed to be like this, she thought. But this was the card fate had dealt her and she was going to live with it as best as she could.  
  
Buffy didn't know that everyday she spent out of the Magic Box was another day that the gang spent trying to find a spell to cure her. Even Joyce, Giles, Xander, and Anya were in on it. Joyce was reluctant but Giles assured her that he would double check anything they wanted to try before he allowed them to do it. She made a face but he calmly stated that he hadn't been the owner of a magic shop for twenty years with out picking something up. Willow and Tara were ecstatic when the roots they ordered were finally in and took off from work to start preparing the spell. Everyone was happy to know that the progress of Buffy's incoherence would be halted and maybe reversed.  
  
That night Spike could barely contain his glee that tomorrow they girls would do the spell and that Buffy might be back to her normal self. Buffy picked up on it as he was getting into bed and asked him what was making him so happy.  
  
"Nothing luv, I'm just happy to be going to bed." He kissed her cheek.  
  
"Oh, okay."  
  
"What's wrong luv?"  
  
"I.. just.. I.." she burst into tears.  
  
"What, pet tell me!" He held her close. He was used to her breaking into tears and was now very good at calming his wife down.  
  
"I can't remember you name," she mumbled through her tears. "I know who you are and that you're my husband, but I can't think of your name!"  
  
"It's Spike, luv. But I don't care what you call me, just remember me!" He broke into tears too and they lay together sobbing until they fell asleep.  
  
The next day at the Magic Box was frantic. Everyone was trying to get the last of the necessary items ready for the spell. Spike was frantic that it wouldn't work and that Buffy would never again remember his name and then forget who he was. Everyone else worried that the spell would be messed up and that Buffy would lose her mind completely. Finally the last of the necessary items were in place and Spike called Buffy to tell her he was picking her up.  
  
"Not like she'll remember when I come to get her," he mumbled bitterly to himself and left to pick her up. When he got there she had forgotten that he had called and was happy to see that he had taken off of work to be with her.  
  
"No luv, I wanted to take you to the Magic Box."  
  
"Oh. Have we been there before?" She smiled as she asked thinking that maybe there were going somewhere cool and new.  
  
"Ah, yeah luv. You used to work there." His grip on the steering wheel tightened as he tried not to cry while he was driving. "You'll remember it once you get there though."  
  
"Okay." Buffy sat quietly for the rest of the ride. As far as Spike could tell she had forgotten again where they were going. He pulled up to the curb in front of the Box and went to help her out of the car. At eight months, her belly was so big that she had trouble standing up from a sitting position. He pulled on her hand and walked her to the shop. Inside, he sat her down at one of the table, hating that he had to treat her like a child.  
  
"I'll be back in a bit, luv. Just hang out here for a bit, k?" He kissed her forehead and walked back to the store room where Willow and Tara were ready to go. "Okay ladies, do your stuff." He gave them a sad smile and moved to where he could see Buffy. She was sitting facing away from him with her elbow on the table, head in her hand, staring blankly at the space in front of her. Tara and Willow began the spell and Spike watched Buffy closely for any signs of something happening. For the first few minutes nothing happened. Suddenly, Buffy sat straight up, like someone had shoved a rod through her spine. Willow and Tara's chanting became deeper and more resonant until all Spike could hear were their voices chanting in his ear and all he could see was Buffy, rigid in her chair. They finished the spell and Spike went to Buffy. As he walked up to her she didn't move.  
  
"Buffy?" he called. "Luv?" He touched her shoulder and she collapsed. "No! Willow? Tara! What did you do?!" He cried in anguish feeling for a pulse. There was none. Willow and Tara exchanged frantic glances as Giles started dialing 911. Spike began CPR on Buffy mentally willing her heart to start. After five minutes his arms were fatigued and he let Oz take his place. He stayed at Buffy's head crying and hoping that she would wake. Sirens were heard outside and paramedics came rushing in with a stretcher. Before Spike knew it he was shoved in the back of the ambulance with Buffy and the EMTs. In a daze they were driven to the hospital, Spike looked out the window, unable to watch as the EMTs worked on Buffy. He saw Giles' car following them and he hoped that the girls were in the car, he wanted to know what went wrong!  
  
At the hospital Buffy was taken into ER and Spike wasn't allowed to follow her. A nurse stayed with him and began to question him about what happened and what her previous health history was. He told her about the tumor and broke into tears just as Giles and the rest of the gang from the Magic Box arrived.  
  
"Joyce is on her way, Spike. I'm sure they're doing everything they can for her." Giles gave Spike and awkward hug. Willow, Tara, and Oz stood mutely. When nothing happened in the first twenty minutes they decided to go and sit to wait. Spike quietly asked Willow and Tara what went wrong.  
  
"Nothing as far as we can tell. It will take time for it to take effect but we think that she collapsed because of the tumor, not us." Spike nodded knowing that it had been seven and a half months since Buffy had been diagnosed. Joyce arrived then and they filled her in on Buffy's condition and that they hadn't heard anything else. They sat for another ten minutes before a doctor in scrubs came out and asked for Buffy's family. Giles, Joyce, and Spike stood and followed him down the hall way. He stopped in front of a small room.  
  
"I'm afraid that we don't think she is going to live." Spike sagged against the wall, "we do think that we can save the baby though. With your permission we will perform a c-section and then will try to do what we can for Mrs. Summers-Rosenberg." Giles and Joyce looked at Spike, who nodded.  
  
"Please, do your best!" Giles told him. The doctor nodded.  
  
  
  
"If you would like you may go see her, this may be you last time." He opened the door and the trio walked in.  
  
  
  
Buffy had been transformed in thirty minutes. Her beautiful body was now invaded by tubes and wires monitoring every aspect of her body. Giles and Joyce each took on of her hands and gave it a squeeze. "We love you sweetie." Then they left Spike with her. He stood at the edge of her bed. Never having been with anyone who was dying before he didn't know what to do. So he sat down by her bed, kiss her cheek and cried.  
  
  
  
"Buffy, I'm so sorry this had to happen to you. I love you so much! Please don't leave me!"  
  
  
  
"Mr. Rosenberg I'm sorry but we need to begin operating now." The doctor had come back and was shaking his shoulder. Spike stood up to leave but leaned over her once again and kissed her cheek.  
  
  
  
"I love you. To fate," he whispered in her ear and left.  
  
To Spike it felt like days passed but in reality it was only a few hours. He sat remembering every moment he'd ever spent with Buffy. Her infectious laughter, her beautiful smile, the way she snored, and how she smelled so good all the time. The gang drifted in an out of the waiting room, going for coffee or going for food but he stayed hoping to hear about his love or their baby. Spike laid his head back against the wall.  
  
"Spike, I love you so much. I'm here for you." Buffy smiled at him. They were sitting in the park where they were married, eating a picnic.  
  
"Please don't leave me, I don't know if I can live with out you!" He held her tightly.  
  
"Don't worry! You won't have to face the dawn without me! To fate! To hope," she whispered in his ear. "Wake up Spike, I need you! Wake up." Hands shook him awake and he caught back a sob that it was only a dream.  
  
"Spike! They're done! She's okay!" Giles was jubilant.  
  
"Buffy? She's okay?"  
  
"No, the baby. You're a father. It's a girl!" He jumped up and raced to the nursery where they were just placing her in a plastic cradle.  
  
"You won't have to face the dawn with out me," he whispered to himself, "to fate. To hope!" The doctor caught up with him then and said they needed to sign the birth certificate. When he got to the name he knew exactly what to put: Dawn Hope Summers-Roseburg. 


	11. Tunnel

A/N: Okay, I'm doing a happy little jig because some nice person nominated me for a Spuffy Award, so if you get a chance go to a href=http://www.flesh-for-fantasy.com/SpuffyAwards/index2.htmlSpuffy Awards/a and vote for me under Best Fantasy Angst! *kisses* Thanks!  
  
Chapter 11: That night  
  
After naming Dawn, Spike left her to be fed by the nurses so that he could go see Buffy. He was still dazed that their baby had been delivered two weeks early and was as healthy as any other newborn. When he reached the ICU he had to find the head nurse so he could be admitted. The nurse gave him an odd glance but admitted him.  
  
"She's in a coma right now, sir." The nurse took a deep sigh, "she may not wake up, but if you would like you can massage her hands and feet to keep the circulation going in them." She gave him a small smile and went back about her business.  
  
Spike made his way to Buffy. Her face was pale and she looked younger, almost childlike. There were dark purple bruises under her eyes. Other than those two things Spike couldn't see any difference between Buffy now and how she had always looked to him. Spike glanced at the screen that showed her heart beat reading her pulse, 58 beats per second. Spike knew that was slow but then Buffy had always been incredibly fit. Of its own accord, his hand went to her chest, feeling for her heart beat. When he realized what he was doing he snatched his hand back like it had been burned. Instead he picked up her hand and began to stroke the back, and then gently increasing his pressure, he massaged her hand from the heel to the tips of her fingers.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
"Come on Spike it would be fun!" Buffy gave him a pouting face.  
  
"Pet, I'm not going to some nancy-boy massage class."  
  
"But if we both go we can give each other massage. I could even add in a few places that they won't teach in class!" She winked at him. At 17 Spike was easy to deal with because he was all hormones. She just had to give him suitable motivation.  
  
*Present Day*  
  
Spike continued the massage up from her hand to her wrists, rolling the hand and making sure to get the joint working, then up to the forearm. Buffy always complained that it tickled when he massaged there. He switched to the other hand repeating his motions, slowly, gently, but firmly.  
  
"Luv, I know you can hear me in there somewhere, so I'm going to talk to you like you can hear me. We have a beautiful little girl, her name if Dawn Hope. I thought you would like that name, since you were my inspiration." He glanced at her heart rated, noting that it had gone up to 65. "Luv, I need you to wake up. Please. I can't live with out you and Dawn can't live with out both of us. We're a team, pet. Please wake up." He moved to the foot of the bed and started massaging her feet. From the big toe to the ball of the foot then on to the other toes, he kept gentle, steady pressure. From there he kneaded the internal cuneiform and stroked his thumbs to her heel. A machine gave a beep and he stared at it, startled, Buffy's heart rate was up to 89. Spike dropped her foot and moved up to her head.  
  
"Buffy, Buffy! I know you can hear me! Wake up Buffy!" He heard foot steps and saw the nurse appear on Buffy's other side.  
  
"What did you do?" she demanded.  
  
"I was massaging her feet; her heart rate's been going up steadily"  
  
"Well keep doing it, it's getting a response!" The nurse fiddled with the tubes at Buffy's neck as Spike raced to her feet to keep up the massage.  
  
"Will this wake her up?"  
  
"I don't know. She was a in a pretty bad way when they brought her in and as I said I don't think she'll wake up. But if her heart rate is up then she at least recognizes that you're here." Spike kept going, moving to her ankle, rotating them and flexing the muscle.  
  
"Can you go get my sister, Willow?" The nurse gave him a skeptical look, "please, she's the best masseuse I know and I could really use her help." The nurse turned away and rushed out to get her. Spike moved back to Buffy head. "Luv, I know you're in there. Wake up, please!" Tears began to stream down his cheek, dripping onto Buffy's face. Willow ran in then, breathless, looking at him for what to do. "Massage her, I don't care where just try and get a response." He said out loud, and then as the nurse moved off he began to whisper. "Alright, what's the deal Willow? She's not dead but she not really awake, so what went wrong with the spell?"  
  
"Nothing. It went perfectly; she's just out of it from the delivery." Just then a gurgle could be heard from Buffy. "She's trying to breath! Nurse!" The nurse ran back over, "she's trying to breathe, can't you take the tube out?" Willow pointed to the air tube in Buffy's throat.  
  
"Yes, she's trying hard alright. Amazing," she yanked the tape that had been holding it down and with drew the tube. Three breaths were held as Buffy gasped. She gave one hard cough and began to breathe on her own. Willow and Spike cheered as the nurse stared at a woman who, by all accounts, should be dead by now.   
  
"Alright, keep at it; See if you can get more." The nurse walked away again leaving Willow and Spike to continue their massages. Spike smiled over Buffy at Willow.  
  
"We'll see what we can do." Willow reached into her bag and pulled out an amulet, the same one she and Tara had created earlier that morning. She quietly tucked it into Buffy's pillow, still listening to Buffy's breathing. "Just give it some time to work; it only needs on more thing after she gets a little stronger."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You'll see." They turned back to Buffy and kept up their massage.  
  
Buffy was in a tunnel. At one end there was a brilliant gold light and at the other, a dimmer silver light. The tunnel was filled with thick fluid and Buffy had trouble moving. 'This must be some kind of dream; I'm zoning out at the shop again or something". Buffy felt frustrated, an emotion she had become well acquainted with in the last few months. She knew there was a way to bring her thoughts back to the real world and it had to do with one end of the tunnel. She looked at the bright end thinking that the light was supposed to guide her out but the liquid that surrounded her seemed to pull her towards the dimmer light. It was like a gentle massage, undulating against her, pulling her in. She struggled briefly and felt her head go under. She choked, gasped, then the water was cleared and she took a deep breath. She tried once more to swim to the brighter light, but she started to go under. Finally, she decided that the other end was what she wanted. It was dimmer but as she got closer she could almost hear people talking. Maybe Will's shaking me again, trying to get me to snap back to it. She sighed and kept swimming. Finally, she reached the end but couldn't figure out how to get out. She started treading water, hoping someone would give her a hand out. 


	12. Sleeping Beautiful

Chapter 12:  
  
"Okay Spike, I think she's ready for the last part." Willow nudged him gently, trying to get him to wake back up. His head was leaning on Buffy's foot where he had fallen asleep.  
  
"What do we have to do?"  
  
"This is the easiest part. She's almost back to us and she just needs a guide to wake all the way up." She smiled at him, "when was the last time you saw a 'Sleeping Beauty'?"  
  
"Never, you should know that!" He grimaced at the thought of chick flicks.  
  
"Ha! You lie. I know you snuck down that one time Buffy and I were watching it. You sat at the bottom of the stairs to watch it because Mom wouldn't let you ruin our slumber party!"  
  
"Fine, I've seen it once," Twenty times really, it was a favorite of Buffy's, "big deal."  
  
"Well, do you remember how Prince Charming woke her up?"  
  
"Yeah, beat back a bloody big dragon and kissed her. Oh. That's all?" Willow nodded. He leaned over Buffy.  
  
"Alright, Sleeping Beauty, time to wake up," he whispered. His lips touched hers briefly then he heard her gasp and pulled away. "Buffy? Luv?" Buffy's eyes flew open and she sat bolt upright sending the monitors into a frenzy.  
  
When the nurse on duty got to the bed she almost fainted. The girl had a tumor the size of a golf ball, there was no way she could be awake. But here she was, hugging her husband and trying not to cry herself to death. Spike and Willow were ordered out so that the doctors could look Buffy over and administer drugs.  
  
"Joyce! Giles! Tara, Xander, Anya!" Spike and Willow raced down the hall screaming for their friends. They didn't even need to tell them that Buffy was awake, their smiles gave it away. The whole family hugged then sat down to await the doctor's prognosis. Time seemed to stop again as they waited. Minutes turned into hours and their excited talk quieted as they wondered if Buffy was still okay.  
  
Finally, Buffy's doctor came for Giles, Joyce, and Spike. He led them to where Buffy had been moved. She no longer needed the ICU and was in a private room sitting up waiting for them. She broke into tears when she saw Spike. He ran to her and they spent the rest of the time holding onto each other. Joyce and Giles sat down on Buffy's other side to listen to Dr. Finn.  
  
"I've already explained to Buffy about the coma and she is waiting patiently for Dawn to wake up so that she can see her." He smiled at Spike, "she's a beautiful little girl, congratulations.  
  
"Now, about her mother. We've scanned her several times with various pieces of equipment and there isn't even a trace of tumor. I am, to say the least, mystified. We will keep Buffy for another two days, which is normal for all new mothers and their infants, but after that we will release her. I would like to see her back for scans in another week and then a month after that. If she gets a clean bill of health I hope to never see her again." Spike glared, "in a good way, I assure you!" At that he left them so the nurses could bring in Dawn, who had woken up and wanted to be fed. Joyce and Giles each gave a quick kiss on the forehead then left so the new family could spend some quality time together.  
  
Epilogue: Two years later  
  
After two years tumor free Buffy's cancer was declared to be in remission. The tumor that had almost killed her had disappeared without a trace. Medically, there was no way to explain it, so most doctors declared her to be a fluke. While the doctors might be clueless Buffy and her family knew exactly what had stopped her death. Every year on Dawn's birthday they had celebrated her birth and Buffy's life. This years party was being held at the park where Buffy and Spike had their wedding.  
  
The party included everyone in Buffy's ever expanding family. The group had grown by X. Xander and Anya now had twin boys who were little demons that never sat still for more than thirty seconds. Willow and Tara had officially 'adopted' Oz. They couldn't both marry him so they settled with just all living in on big house. Willow had a little girl from him and Tara had a little boy. They had finally opened their herb counter in the Magic Box and Oz played stay at home Daddy, although most days he could be found at the Magic Box with the kids. Buffy and Spike of course had Dawn who was their pride and joy. Sadly, she would be their only child, Buffy had become sterile from the spell. It was a nasty side effect but Buffy and Spike were content with Dawn, who was a handful.  
  
As hot dogs cooked on the grills everyone grabbed a cup of punch and gathered for a toast. Glasses were raised, everyone chanted "to fate, to hope", and they all smiled as they drank to the toast. 


End file.
